Achieve the Success You Want: 7 Reasons Why People Dont


Change is one of the biggest concepts facing today's society. We are all confronted by how fast the world is changing and how we must change to keep up. We should view change as exciting!

What is the process we need to understand when seeking to change our behaviour? What are the prerequisites to lasting change? Most people don't do what they want to do and do what they don't want to do. Why is this? Why is change so hard for many?

1. We Are Not Clear On Where We Are Heading

A goal is imperative to where you want to go, but how many of us have a clearly defined statement for our life, know our values, or have any goals written down?

We can do this by writing a future letter, a personal mission statement, or merely by placing a list of goals in a visible place. This will help us decide where we want to end up. If we aim at nothing, we will more than likely achieve nothing!

It is also important to ensure each goal is chosen for the right reasons. Each reason must be a compelling reason for us. For example, if we do things to please others, or because we feel we should, we will often give up later on down the track, or not have the passion to complete the goal. Finding the right reasons will often require an understanding of our values and beliefs and priorities.

2. Our Attitude Is Wrong

The right attitude is crucial for change to be a positive experience. We must see change as something that we want, that is exciting and which will provide us with new possibilities. The power of positive thinking has been examined in great depth in many books. A list of good books to help you understand how to tap into this power of positive thinking for yourself can be found on the resources page of my website: http://www.aspectcoaching.com/Resources.html

3. We Don't Know How To Renew The Mind

This means learning to look at things from a new perspective. Perspective is how we personally see things. With a new perspective change is easy. Achieving change with a non-empowering perspective is hard.

Some negative perspectives are doubt, fear, blame, criticism, low self-esteem and judgement.

Some empowering perspectives are trust, positive thinking, respect, commitment and responsibility.

Changing our perspective involves considering how we may look at things differently. It sometimes helps to consider how an outsider would view our circumstances.

Affirmations are one effective way to renew the mind. They can keep the mind focused on our goal if they are referred to regularly. Affirmations need to be written in the present tense, in the first person and with strong, positive language stating what you want to achieve, not what you don't. For example, 'I find it so easy to network with people.'

4. We Don't Form New Habits

Habits are one of the main factors that influence how we behave. To change a habit we must act on something at least seven times to reinforce the changed behaviour. Understanding the process of reinforcing habits can make a big difference. Some of these are:

5. We Don't Understand Or Master The Areas Needed For Change

With all the desire in the world, we cannot change without the right tools. Tools provide us with the framework to make a difference. Some of the tools may be:

6. We Do Not Get Enough Support From Others

We are all designed to be in community. We are all imperfect, so we have to depend on the strengths of others to compliment our weaknesses. Getting support from people such as a coach, mentor or mastermind group is crucial to successful change. Coaching is a powerful process that enables a person to clarify what they want and the necessary steps to get there. Coaching allows for accountability, support, encouragement, feedback and challenge. These are all things we cannot get alone.

How many Olympic medallists would have won a medal without a coach?

7. We Stop Before The Change Has Happened

This is the biggest obstacle to change. Many people start off well but do not complete the race. Perseverance is the key. Keeping our eyes on the goal and not losing heart are crucial for success. Remembering what was driving us initially, and recapturing that vision can help keep us from giving up. Evaluation is important to recognize ways that have been successful and those that need changing.

A Model for Change

One of the most well respected models for change is the GROW principle. This is as follows:

A personal coach can take you through a model to facilitate change. The questions below may also help you move forward.

Personal Coaching Questions:

Name one area you would like to change.

Do you know where you are heading?

Is there any way your attitude needs changing?

Is there any way you need a new perspective, or way of thinking that is more constructive?

How may you sustain changes to your habits?

Where can you get support from others?

Have you given up too early?

-----------------------------------------------------------------

This article may be reproduced if you include the following credit:

Jane Johnson is a Certified Coach and founder of Aspect Coaching. She offers personal and business coaching to professional women in their 30's and 40's who want to develop their professional skills so they can move forward to the next level in their career or business women who are unfulfilled and want to find a career that they feel is their true path in life.

If you wish to receive our FREE ebook: Getting More Done in Less Time, and also receive our FREE ezine, providing valuable information to help you dramatically increase your achievement in the workplace, click on: http://www.aspectcoaching.com/Newsletter.html

Jane can be contacted at: http://www.aspectcoaching.com/index.html

Register for a complimentary session: http://www.aspectcoaching.com/Complimentary_Session.html

MORE RESOURCES:
RELATED ARTICLES
Barriers to Prosperity
An odd but frequent barrier to prosperity is the belief that we're the "wrong type" to live an abundant life. This comes down to a whole attitude about ourselves which places us as a "misfit".
Top Ten Strategies For Becoming Uncommonly Successful
Here are 10 of 26 proven strategies gleaned from interviews with highly successful people who have overcome obstacles to accomplish such feats at climbing Mt. Everest, winning a Grammy, becoming a multi-millionaire, becoming an established author and humorist, a professional pitcher in the Major Leagues, an internet entrepreneur who earns millions and more.
Dont Just Read About It; Be About It!
Far too many of us struggle through life despite more Bibles, personal development, and self-help books being read now, than during any other time in history.Why is that?Whatever it is that we are in search of, cannot be found among the pages of any book, but rather, deep inside ourselves.
Personal Power: Implementing Change from the Inside Out
Personal power is an INSIDE JOB. It doesn't mean getting other people to do what you want them to; it means getting yourself moving toward your goals.
The Fuel That Drives The Ultimate Lifestyle
In a recent article (What is The Ultimate Lifestyle), I talked about the 8 core components that define "The Ultimate Lifestyle."The first component was income streams, and the reason it was listed as #1 is because if you want to live the ultimate lifestyle (as you define it), you must:- Have total control over your time (i.
15 Success Secrets Of The Strongest Men In The World
The 2004 final of the World's Strongest Man METRx Championship took place in Nassau in the Bahamas. Three of the six finalists impressed me especially as great role models.
Winning: Defining It - Achieving It
If you ask most people whether they would like to be considered a winner or a loser in life, they would most assuredly reply that they would like to be a winner. But this begs the question, "What does it mean to win at life?" In some things it's easy to define a clear winner.
Life Versus Lifestyle
There is a difference but what constitutes a life and what constitutes a lifestyle is pretty ambiguous.  One thing that seems pretty clear to me is the lifestyle is observable while a life can have many internal aspects to it.
Filling Your Bucket - How Negativity Can Make Or Break Your Business and Personal Success!
I received an advanced copy of a book called How Full Is Your Bucket, by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton.
The Psychology Of Success; Part 1
Business knowledge and skills are not the only keys to success. To be successful, you also need to master the psychological skills that will help you to be satisfied and fulfilled, and thus more effective in your work.
The Characteristics of a Winner
As kind of a hobby I like to watch people. Just kind of sit back and quietly watch how they react and respond to others and their environment.
Healthy Wealthy Wise: Boost Your Productivity
We all strive for a 'balanced life'. Although we may not all be able to achieve the myth of balance, we can focus on three areas of our life to help us be more productive in other areas of our life.
Creative Destruction
This past Memorial Day weekend I decided to revisit my bookshelf to poke around and reminisce with books I'd read over the last decade. You see, I not only like to collect great books, I also date each one to remind me of when I read it.
Prosperity Practices
By popular request, I thought I would put together this little list of simple things you can do to increase cash flow ..
Helpful Tips to Overcome Procrastination
Many among us, on many instances, have the habit of putting aside to a later time or day some things that needs to be done or acted upon like a project, work, job, or duty. For purposes of discussion, we will confine ourselves to procrastination on repair works typically at home.
Lessons from My Garden
What does "Lessons from My Garden" have to do with "getting organized? One of the things I've learned after 20+ years as an organizing consultant is that organizing has something to do with everything!Here's how organizing principles apply to the art of gardening:"Half of any job is using the right tool!" (Note I said "using" - not "having!") It took a blister to convince me to buy a new pair of loppers to finish trimming the butterfly bushes. With the new tool, pruning was easy and painless.
How Do You Spell Success
A person who is illiterate can look at a word without knowing what it means. Perhaps he can recognize the shape of some of the letters; perhaps she even knows that certain of these shapes are representative of certain sounds; still, the veil cannot be pierced.
So What is Success Anyway?
Well I'll tell you what it's not. Even thought many of us like to periodically visit our own personal Fantasyland complete with its mansions, servants, fancy cars and trips to exotic places (check under the heading of "What I Would Do if I Won the Lottery") most of us over the age of twelve with any experience under our belts are realistic enough to recognize our Fantasyland for what it is.
Listen Up
There is a close link between respect for another person's viewpoint and effective communication. The most successful people those who communicate well and regularly.
Success Through Discipline - The Rewards Of Discipline
Many of the problems we have with discipline are caused by failing to realize the rewards that discipline can bring. We focus on the fact that discipline often means doing boring things that we don't want to do and fail to notice that eventually discipline empowers us to do what we do want to do.