Stress Management: How to Take Off Those Masks We Wear


The Mask of "I've Got It All Together"

It's so easy to put this mask on, and then forget you are wearing it. We want to look to the outside world as if everything is fine, we've got it all handled, no problems, thank you very much.

This one weighs alot, and is very heavy to carry around. Even worse, it makes it very hard to ask for help, which leads to the next mask.............

The Mask of "I Don't Need Anyone"

Simon and Garfunkel sang "I am a rock, I am an island." So American culture, and so wrong. While it's good to stand on your own two feet, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, and all other applicable clichés, when taken to an extreme, it can be very isolating. While being independent is a worthy goal, we all need someone to lean on. The curious thing is, most people really like to help when asked.

The Mask of Perfectionism

Another very seductive mask because it makes us look so good. Too bad it's not only false, it's also not attainable. So many people strive for perfection as a way to feel good about themselves. A good move here is to trade in perfectionism for excellence, which is attainable, and a whole lot more fun.

The Mask of Busy-ness

Somehow, busy-ness has become associated with importance. If we are always busy, then we must be important. Unfortunately, busy-ness binds us to many things that might be good and worthwhile, while we miss the things that are the very best.

The Mask of Knowing It All

In the world of "difficult people", these folks are known as IEOE's, Instant Experts On Everything. This mask is typically accompanied by a burning desire to beat people over the head with their important knowledge. The really sad thing is these folks tend to be very unteachable, and therefore never actually learn anything.

The Mask of "Impression Management"

While similar to the I've Got It All Together mask, it differs in at least one important way. It's much more exhausting. It's hard to put down the worry about what everyone else thinks, and the need to control the impression you make on each and every person.

The goal of most masks is protection. In many cases it is not needed. Or if it was once needed, that time has passed. Taking off these masks involves risk. It's useful to begin by peeking out from behind the masks a little bit at a time, and then watch what happens. Most folks find that it's much safer out there than they thought, and it's a whole lot easier than lugging around all those heavy masks.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

MORE RESOURCES:
RELATED ARTICLES
Panic Is No Laughing Matter
Burt Reynolds revealed his vulnerable side when he realized he was being steered into marriage. One day while browsing the furniture department with his would-be bride, he suddenly collapsed onto a bed and doubled into the protective fetal form.
9 Warning Signs of Stress
Stress is the nastiest 4 letter word you ever met. Don't stress, I know it is six letters but it packs the wallop of the meanest 4 letter word you ever heard.
Beyond the Stress of Success - Access Your Thriving Zone
Genuine enthusiasm..
The Underlying Cause of Nervous Breakdowns
Life can offer us many challenges having to do with loss. When we are faced with relationship loss, financial loss, loss of health, loss of limb, loss of regard, or loss of love, we can feel overwhelmingly anxious, depressed and stressed.
Recognize the Early Signs of Burnout
Most of us are trying to balance work, home, and a family life. We tend not to accept the early symptoms of burnout and carry on our daily lives.
Worry: Do We Have A Choice?
As Montaigne said, "he who fears he will suffer, already suffers because of his fears." We pay a huge cost for worrying, physically, mentally and emotionally; yet research shows that it affects most of us in some way.
Stress May Cost Businesses Millions, But the Costs to the Sufferer are Far Worse
Governements and businesses have regularly highlighted the costs of stress to them in monetary terms. The real cost is the affect on the lives of the people who suffer from it.
Waking Up Well - The Essentials
Preparing for sleep the night before is the place to start. Quality sleep vs quantity is vital.
Stress Relief
Traffic jams. Toddler tantrums.
Just Moved -- and Miserable!
Q. Help! I moved from the Dallas to Denver.
Stress Management and Mastery: 3 Tools You Can Use
Q:We recently had someone come to our company to talk about stress management. All he did was talk about the physical results of stress and tell us we need to not be so stressed and to relax.
The Message Bill Heard
Voice: Bill!Bill: I thought I heard a voice.Voice: Bill! This is a Message from Heaven.
Are YOU Controlling Stress So Stress Does Not Control YOU?
Have you recently moved or started a new job? Do you feel you have too much to do and not enough time to do them? Do you worry about your financial situation? Do you worry about your future? Do you feel your efforts at work or at home go unappreciated?If you answered "Yes" to any of these questions, you are experiencing stress but you're not alone.Two surveys indicate that worker anxiety is rapidly rising.
Life Happens
Shit happens. I know this to be a fact, because I read it on a t-shirt.
Living on the Edge: Stressed Out and Nowhere to Go
Is your stress level higher than it should be? Are you struggling with changes in life that you neither anticipated nor caused? If so, keep reading! Most of us carry far more stress than did our parents and grandparents. Life seems more complicated than ever.
Stress Management: Problem Land or Solution Land
In my experience, most of us spend a lot more time living in problem land, griping and complaining, than we do in solution land, working hard and enjoying solving problems.It's almost become a national past time.
Rising to the Top: Overcoming Bad Situations
We've all been there, right? We find ourselves living with the weight of our circumstances growing heavier by the day. We agonize over the "what if" questions and wonder just how we'll ever get out from under the burdens we bear.
Are You Soakin' It Up?
?And holding it way down inside you like an old sponge? Be careful. Just like an old sponge that's held its liquid a little too long, we may start to get stinky in a day or two.
Balancing Acts: Keeping Work and Life in Equilibrium
In the fast-paced world that we live in today, it seems as though it's hard to find enough time to do everything that needs to be done. Days at work are long, but too often don't seem to be long enough? we bring home what we can't finish and end up creating highly stressful situations for those around us.
Job Stress Management Tips
Today's workplace produces plenty of stress. Life's little hassles mount up until you say to yourself, "If one more thing goes wrong today, I'll explode.