Stress Management and Mastery: How to Handle Change
Q. I have just recently come to recognize that I don't handle change very well, although my husband and friends have told me that for years. I seem to have trouble with changes that are out of my control. And then when I try to change things I want to change, I just don't know what to do and get bogged down. What do you recommend?
A.
I believe that most people do not like change because they either don't know how to respond to it or they respond poorly.
One way to think about this is that change is like waves on the beach. Just like change, waves are relentless and can be powerful, and there's really only three things you can do with a wave: Let it knock you down, survive it or ride it.
Let's take a closer look at each of these three ways to handle change.
We let the waves of change knock us down when we take what I call the dead roach approach to change - flat on our back, feet in the air and just out of control.
You can tell you are taking this approach when you say things such as:
"I'm so stressed out!"
"I can't take this!"
"This isn't fair!"
"Why does this always have to happen to me?"
Doesn't surviving change sound like a good thing to want to do? Though in a few cases it's really the only thing you can do, it really isn't the optimal approach to take. I don't know about you, but merely surviving doesn't sound like a very compelling way to live.
If you're thinking or saying these things, you've probably settled on merely surviving:
"How can I get through this?"
"What's the worst that could happen here?"
"I don't know if I can take this."
"What can I do to get by?"
The problem with taking a survival approach is that you just merely get by. When you're ready to do more than just get by, it's time to begin managing change.
Riding the waves of change means moving from a state of survival to a state I call "thrival." Thrival is simply the process of making change work for you.
Here are some questions to ask to begin to learn how to thrive on change:
How can I make this work for me?
What's good about this?
What does this change allow me to do that I couldn't do before?
What positive things might this change force me to do.
Change is inevitable. How we handle it is optional. Make the choice to ride the waves and you're likely to create a compelling life for yourself.
Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
MORE RESOURCES:
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Extreme Self-care: Make Time for Yourself
If you've recently experienced loss or are going through a time of high-stress or uncertainty, it's important that you make a special effort to look after yourself. Here are a few things you can do to care for yourself physically and emotionally:- Take time out.
Is Worry Necessary?
Who hasn't experienced "worry" at one time or another? Almost everyone I'm sure. As a result many if not all consider this to be not only a normal human "emotion" but also a necessary fact of life.
Are You Taking Notice? What Are Your Warning Signs Stress Is Building Up?
Many people recognise the warning signs that stress may be
just around the corner. The trouble is that most of us
rarely listen to them.
How To Eliminate Or Manage Stress
Are you a "worry wart?" Is that term familiar to you? It is
to me but it's been a long time since I've heard it used. I do
remember people telling me years ago when something was
really bothering me and they would say, "Oh! you are a just a
real "worry wart".
Managing Stress - Hire the Right People
Managing stress is not easy if you don't have the right people in your business or team.One of the biggest challenges any business owner or manager has is hiring the right people.
No More Sleepless Nights (Insomnia)
Insomnia is usually the result of the modern way of life and mental tension to which it leads. Innumerable persons suffer from insomnia.
Calming The Voice of Stress
But how can this happen to someone?Let's concentrate on how these illnesses affect the way we value the self. Of all of the destructive patterns of behavior these illnesses cause, the way a sufferer talks to the self is the fuel that maintains their illness.
Ease Your Stress ? Change Your Life!
Feeling stressed? Who isn't!! In today's society, feeling "stressed out," overwhelmed and exhausted is the norm. However, moderate day-to-day stress takes its toll on our minds and bodies.
The Top 10 Steps to DeStress
Do you feel tense and anxious at work? Do your co-workers and/or boss make you crazy? Is your personal life less than blissful? If so, you've got stress. If you're like most people you've sought refuge from this situation by trying a quick fix or two like calling a friend, walking the dog, or going away for the weekend in an attempt to escape it all.
Mental and Physical Stress
All people experience stress and anxiety in one form or another. Sometimes it can be helpful but if allowed to become chronic, it produces a physically debilitating, unhealthy and destructive mind-set that actually increases stress levels and lowers immune system efficiency.
Stress In The Workplace
According to the Australian Council of Trade Unions' (A.C.
It is Looking Up for Stress Relief
No this is not related to praying, this is how your brain works. Looking up will reduce your stress?.
100 Ways to Reduce Stress
Don't let stress wear you down. Next time you are feeling stressed, step back from the situation and try one of the following tips to take control of the situation and de-stress:1.
Stress And Anxiety - Take Charge Of It!
Have you ever noticed what occurs when you are suddenly
thrown into a high tension situation?Does any of this sound familiar?* Raised pulse* Short faster breaths* Shallower breathing* Feelings of losing control* Limbs twitching and/or shaking* Feeling hot and clammyOK, there may be more, but I think they are a
good start.If you answered no to all of them then, CONGRATULATIONS,
you don't suffer from stress (or any human emotion) at
all!Seriously though, such feelings are often the reason why
people suffer from stress and anxiety in their everyday
lives and, this is the point,EVEN WHEN THEY ARE NOT IN STRESSFUL SITUATIONS!The stress they feel regularly in pressure environments
does not leave them and this leads to extended periods of
tension, headaches, poor and shallow breathing, and often
leads them to indulge in vices that exacerbate the problem.
Stress Secrets: How To Remove Hidden Sources Of Stress
Most people find it easy to identify the sources of stress in their lives. Ask Maggie M.
Stress Management: Are You a Diamond or a Lump of Coal?
"Do you want to be a lump of coal or do you want to be a diamond?"
That's the first question I ask to begin my stress management seminar called "A Diamond is Nothing More Than a Lump of Coal That Handled Stress Very Well."We seem to have some interesting misconceptions about the stress in our lives.
Control Stress or It Will Control Your Business
When we think about stress in the workplace, we usually refer to ulcers or heart conditions, but stress has a much broader impact. It is known that stress is linked to cancer, lung ailments, cirrhosis of the liver, immunity to common illnesses, back problems, and many other medical problems.
13 Stress Reducers & Profit Boosters
The United Nations declares workplace stress to be
a worldwide epidemic. In the United States alone,
forty-six percent of workers report that their job
is very stressful.
Job Stress Management Tips
Today's workplace produces plenty of stress. Life's little hassles mount up until you say to yourself, "If one more thing goes wrong today, I'll explode.
Some Tips for Mental Well Being - Ways to Help Yourself!
Get at least 15 minutes of sunshine daily.Daily Exercise - Exercise releases endorphins that make us feel good and is known to boost people's moods and is good for depression.
|