Stress Managment and Mastery: 7 Ways to Take Yourself Off Restriction


Q. So many times in my life, I seem to hold myself back from what I want to do. I make great plans and have great intentions, but then end up holding myself back in some way. Do you have any suggestions for changing this?

A. When you were a kid, did you ever do something wrong and get put on restrictions? You know, no TV, stay in your room, can't play with friends, for what seemed like an eternity?

What would it be like if we were still on the same restrictions from when we were kids?

It would seem kind of silly, would it not?

And yet we tend to keep ourselves "on restriction" in so many areas of our lives.

These restrictions tend to fall into certain categories. See if any of these fit for you.

1) I can't:

Ask for what I want.

Be successful.

Get the right job.

Stand up for myself.

2) I shouldn't:

Go for what I want.

Act selfish.

Say no.

Think for myself.

3) I'm only:

Good at one thing.

A young person.

An old person.

4) I don't have:

The right genes.

The right connections.

5) I have:

Too much against me.

A bad attitude.

6) They said:

I couldn't do it.

I wouldn't make it.

7) I'm too:

Young, old, fat, thin.

If you recognized yourself in any of these restrictions, don't despair. Look at it this way. When we were kids, parents could put us on restrictions and take us off. But now we are adults. We can take ourselves off restrictions.

How? There are three steps.

1. Question the restriction. Here are some questions to ask:

Does this make sense?

Does this fit in my life?

Does it help me meet my goals?

Does it help me to feel and act the way I want?

If you can't get a yes to any of these questions, it's time to discard the restriction as no longer useful in your life.

2. Make fun of the restriction.

Have you ever gently teased yourself about something in your life? I don't mean in a negative or mean sense. You need to be able to laugh at your own self-imposed limitations.

3. Replace it with an ability.

Here's a general rule about changing restrictions: Never remove a restriction without replacing it with a belief that strengthens you.

Take, for example, one of the statements above: "I can't ask for what I want." After you have questioned and laughed at the restriction, simply replace it with "I can ask for anything I want, I just need to learn how."

See the difference?

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

MORE RESOURCES:
RELATED ARTICLES
Stress Managment: 12 Universal Laws for Managing Anger
1. The Law of EveryoneIt is not neccessarily wrong to get angry.
Breathe Out Negativity And Stress!
If you have never tried combining your breathing exercises with the use of colours I highly recommend you begin.It can really aid in eliminating negative feelings and go a long way towards overcoming anxious situations where you may require that little extra shove to step out into the unknown.
Stress Managment: 5 Things to Clean Out of Your Mental Closet
ExcusesWe all have them. It amazes me how creative I can be when I need a good excuse for something.
Recognize the Early Signs of Burnout
Most of us are trying to balance work, home, and a family life. We tend not to accept the early symptoms of burnout and carry on our daily lives.
Stop Yourself Reacting To Other People When They Push Your Buttons
We all know what it feels like to have our buttons pushed. Something happens, that seems to take us over, every muscle in our body tightens up and we turn into somebody no one wants to be around.
Music Therapy: Can Music Really Soothe The Savage Beast?
It has long been suggested that "music soothes the savage beast." But is this true? And if it is, does this have any implication where humans are concerned? The answer, apparently, is yes.
Stress Tips
26 ways to minimize and manage the unhealthy effects of stress, anxiety and burnout.No doubt about it - we live in an increasingly competitive and stressful world.
Stress Management: How to Avoid the Ruts and Holes of Life
Have you ever noticed how we keep falling into the same holes and ruts in life? We know something doesn't work and yet we keep doing the same things over and over again.Have you ever wondered why we do this? And more importantly, how do we stop doing it, how do we stop "digging"? And how do we get out?As I've studied and searched over the years for ways to help people get the changes they want, quickly, gently and effectively, I've stumbled across a poem that seems to capture well the process of change.
Coping With Stress
When something happens in our lives, we automatically assess the situation mentally and try to determine if it is threatening to us. If we feel that we don't have the skills or resources necessary to deal with the situation then we feel stress.
Stress Management and Mastery: How to Handle Change
Q. I have just recently come to recognize that I don't handle change very well, although my husband and friends have told me that for years.
Is Worry Necessary?
Who hasn't experienced "worry" at one time or another? Almost everyone I'm sure. As a result many if not all consider this to be not only a normal human "emotion" but also a necessary fact of life.
Waking Up Well - The Essentials
Preparing for sleep the night before is the place to start. Quality sleep vs quantity is vital.
Dealing with Workplace Stress
One of the hardest forms of stress to avoid is workplace stress. After all, you need to go to work and there are plenty of things to worry about once you get there.
Stress is a Killer?Will it get YOU?
What good is Personal or Business Success..
Energy - How to Have More of It
Something the successful business person needs is - lots of Energy! You need Brain Energy and you need Body Energy. However as with any other kind of energy, it's constantly being drained away and needs replacing.
Haris Stress Inventory
Conceptualizing stress: Stress often has a negative connotation. Failure, illnesses, distress are often marked as stress.
Three Tips for Forgiveness: A Key Factor in Anger Management
Elizabeth, 32, cried during anger management class as she told how one year ago - her 19-month-old girl was permanently brain-damaged as the result of a medical error at the hospital in which she was delivered.Elizabeth had a legitimate grievance toward the hospital and medical staff, and felt that she could never forgive them for what she saw as their incompetence.
Stress Management and Mastery: Shake It Off and Step Up
The moment I read the story I'm about to share with you, I knew it would make a good article. It has one of the best approaches to managing stress, change and, for that matter, life and its living that I have ever read.
Improving Self Esteem with Affirmations and Therapeutic Relaxation Music
Positive self-esteem is very important for our general health and wellness as human beings. Having positive self-esteem is also important for promoting any type of healing, whether physical, emotional or spiritual.
Stress Management: Ditch Thinking or Destination Thinking
Imagine driving down the road. You are driving with a great amount of anticipation, on your way to an important destination, a place you have always wanted to go.