Why Its Good To Be Alone

Have you noticed that there's an ebb and flow to everything in life? The sun comes up, the sun goes down; the tide comes in, the tide goes out. If you're not currently in a relationship, it simply means the sun has temporarily set; the tide is currently out. As sure as the sun will rise again and the tide will come back in, you will eventually be in another relationship. What you do between now and then may very well determine what type it will be and if it will be with "the one".

Unfortunately, today's society often assumes being alone equals loneliness. Nothing could be further from the truth. I spend a lot of time alone, but I am rarely lonely. I am very protective of my time and weigh the pros and cons of everything I do. You can always make more money, but you will never get back time you've wasted. The clock is ticking and no one knows how much time they have left. This is what makes life exciting.

Instead of bemoaning the fact that you currently don't have someone special in your life, why not take the time to clear the weeds in your life. I bet there's a closet that's begging to be organized. There are probably things you don't need or use that can be sold or given away. Junk slowly accumulates in your life and before you know it, you feel overwhelmed. You may have heard that in order to bring new energy into your life (a partner, etc), you need to clear out the old energy. You certainly won't have the time to do it when you meet him or her, because you'll be so high on love that you probably won't want to do much of anything except be with or think about your new honey.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that everyone in a relationship is happy. We have a saying in my native country of Italy, "Meglio solo che mal accompagnato." This means, "It's better to be alone than in bad company". The divorce rate being over 50%, I have to assume that at least 50% of the people in relationships are probably unhappy. When you're on the outside looking in, you think everyone is having a great time except you. Of course you know it isn't true. The human mind being what it is, we idealize what we don't have, and have a short term memory for all the bad times we went through when we had someone in our lives. I remember one Valentine's Day, I was in a horrible relationship. I was looking for a card for him and saw one that said, "To the man of my dreams". Man of my dreams! He was the man of my nightmares. Every time I think about him, I regret the years that I wasted with him, and even though it ended over 5 years ago, I'm still so grateful that he's out of my life.

Finally, please keep in mind that everyone is looking for the "right person" but few people concentrate on being the "right person". Take this time to be honest with yourself and figure out what you need to do or change in order to become someone irresistible, the type of person everyone is looking for but is so hard to find. If you can't be honest with yourself, ask a close friend. Use this alone time to "be the best that you can be", because before you know it, you'll be in another relationship, and if you've done your homework, you'll never be alone again!

Lucia is a dating and relationship expert, columnist, lecturer and host of the TV Show "The Art of Love".

With over 20 years experience on the relationship market, Lucia has dated men of all nationalities in six cities, four countries and two continents. Her practical know-how makes her the perfect candidate to dispense relationship advice - after all, in almost every dating dilemma she has been there, done that and lived to tell about it.

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