Simple Tricks To Help You And Your Kids To Find Friends

One of the most prevalent problems of the computer age is isolation and loneliness. In order to build and maintain relationships there are a number of simple skills, which can be learned, to enhance the opportunity to find and keep friends.

All likeable people behave in certain ways. They literally have a "magnetic" personality drawing others to them. The advantages of being likeable are numerous, including higher grades and income, self-esteem, better health, longer life and happiness and well-being. Here are the five tricks you or your child can do today to increase likeability.

1. Be helpful. Studies show that "helpfulness correlates more strongly than any other attribute" with being well liked, says Haara Estroff Marno, author of Why Doesn't Anyone Like Me? Be aware of opportunities to help on a big scale, such as volunteering for projects and assisting others. Give service and teach your child to look for small ways to help others on a daily basis.

2. Liking who you are. When people feel good about themselves, they are more content and less likely to personalize every situation and comment. Develop a skill or hobby that makes you feel good and that brings joy, you don't have to be perfect at it. Just enjoying an activity and doing reasonably well will boost anyone's self-esteem. Make it a habit to end every night on a positive. Either in a journal or verbally list five things you are grateful for or that you have succeeded at in the day. Develop an attitude of gratitude.

Focus on the positive and celebrate and acknowledge your successes.

3. Say hello first. Friendly people put others at ease. Many people are hesitant to say hello because they fear rejection. But think about it, have you ever gotten mad at someone who says hello to you? Even if people don't return the greeting, they may just be pre-occupied. There is an unofficial rule about customer service that can apply to life as well; smile if someone comes within 10 feet of you, greet with a word or nod anyone within 3 feet of you. Smile with your mouth and your eyes. People who smile are perceived as friendly and approachable. A smile says, "I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you." To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds.

4. Be aware of the message your appearance says about you. Whether we like it or not, people are judged by they way they look and act. If they look enough like everyone else, they will be more acceptable. If they stick out, they risk not fitting in. Those who develop their own unique style of dress must have the moxie and confidence to carry it off. Then it is an attribute. Your appearance, table manners, tone of voice and respect of space sends an instant message before you have a chance to explain who you are and to build a relationship.

5. Recognize the power of body language. Verbal language is the language of information and is only recognized and remembered 20%. Non-verbal or body language is the language of relationships and is acknowledged and remembered 80%. If your body is not responding according to your message, no one will hear or believe what you say. Practice and role-play so that your facial expressions, posture and hand movements are in accordance with the message you want to share with others.

We like someone because, we love someone although. So give people a number of reasons to like you.

This handout has been prepared by Judy H. Wright, Missoula, MT parent educator and author. You may have permission to make copies for other parents and teachers but the entire article, including the signature line, must be included. A complete list of parenting books, aids, workshops and a FREE ezine is available at www.ArtichokePress.com. To contact us, please write judywright@artichokepress.com or call 406-549-9813.

MORE RESOURCES:

RELATED ARTICLES

ADHD: Some Survival Strategies for Parents
In our last issue we posted some of our suggested Survival Strategies for parents, and then asked readers to contribute some of their thoughts or tips. Since this newsletter is already running pretty long, I'll only list a few of them below.

Registering a Birth in Scotland
Who Can Register A Birth? The child's mother or father should register the birth within 21 days. However, a father who is not married to the child's mother can only register a birth and be named on the birth certificate as the father if: he jointly signs the register with the mother, or a court has declared that he is the father, or the mother and he jointly sign a declaration available from the Registrar.

Old Wives Tales and Other Things That Just Might Help with ADHD
Here are some tips that I have picked up from parents that I have met over my 15 years working with ADHD kids and their families. These are not clinically tested.

Graduated Driver Licensing (GDL) for Teen Drivers
Drivers 16 years of age have little driving experience, putting them at high risk for traffic accidents. A series of five research papers published in a September 2002 supplement of Injury Prevention addresses reducing this risk.

Picky Eaters - Successful Strategies Part 1
What is in a name?The answer is everything!Jo J. of Victoria, Texas said that her son was a very picky eater between the ages of four and six and refused to eat many of the dishes she made, until she discovered the art of renaming recipes.

Youth In A Changing World
IntroductionChildren are the gifts of God to parents. That young child will in no time at all grow up to become a resposible future leader if he is well catered for.

Vehicle Safety - Following Simple Vehicle Safety Tips Can Reduce Auto Accidents and Injuries
Child Car Seat Safety:We know you love your children, but so many people do not follow these simple car seat safety principles. By following these easy steps you can ensure your child is completely safe in your car.

Surviving as a Single Parent
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety of emotional issues that you might describe as "extra baggage." Some examples include:? Self-pity? Depression? Guilt? Anger? Envy? Fear? Severe money problems? Loneliness and isolation? Frustration? ExhaustionThese issues present such a challenge because they undermine your daily functioning and emotional well-being.

Old-Fashioned Ways to Inspire Children
"Walk through any toy store and you will see walls and walls of toys that are loud -- toys that require batteries, have flashing lights, or that look like your child's favorite movie character. What is there for parents who want to raise children with imagination and curiosity? I'll tell you what we do.

Why A Father Is Not A Dad
It can be said that any man who procreates is a father, whether present in that child's life or not. While this is technically true, it really takes a man to be a dad!There is nothing more insulting than a cavalier man thinking he has every right in the world to see the child he helped to create, but was never there for him or her.

STOP Parental Alienation Syndrome before It Gets a Chance to START
Parental Alienation Syndrome was probably first identified and codified by Dr. Richard Gardner in his book of the same name.

Watering Your Young Child's Mind
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With silver bells and cockle shells And pretty maids all in a row.It's an everyday nursery rhyme, it's simple to sing with your small child, and apparently this nursery rhyme about a little child watering her garden is watering your little child's mind!Early childhood educators have identified pre-reading skills that are necessary for the learning of reading and the mastery of language.

Don't Make Fast and Furious Food Changes
OK, moms and dads out there, we hear you when you say, my children won't eat healthy foods. If we even say the word, they tune out and already decide they don't like it.

Parents and Children Working Together
When parents help their children learn to read, they help open the door to a new world. As a parent, you can begin an endless learning chain: You read to your children, they develop a love of stories and poems, they want to read on their own, they practice reading, and finally they read for their own information or pleasure.

Parental Internet Control Tips
The Internet is one of the greatest inventions of all time. Parental Internet Control will protect our loved ones from internet filth like pornography and hate material just a click away.

Top 10 Things To Never Believe From Your Teenager
1) It's not my (pot, beer, cigarettes, etc.), I'm just keeping it for someone else.

Home And School Education - Your Kids Can Benefit From Both!
Once, as a Learning Support Teacher, I made my way down to the annexe that housed the school's History Department.The annexe was about 100 metres from the main school building, down an attractive, leafy hill.

A Little Love, Please?
Article based on a friend's experienceI just wanted to share an experience I just had with my daughters, Yee Ting and Yee Sin.Yee Ting is three years old this month while Yee Sin is only one-month old.

Parenting Your Teenager: What Parents Say About Teens
What is hard for parentsLetting them learn from their mistakes.Trying not to fix their problems.

Got To, Get To - Change The Way Your Family Thinks
I recently heard a story that has literally changed the way that I, and my family, think about life. The story is as follows:There was once a high-powered woman in her 30s who ran her own company and was massively successful in business.