What Makes You Special?

Many people are too busy today trying to fit themselves into the image of other people. This ranges from physical appearance to dressing mannerism right to extreme character imitations.

And although I can understand the underlying feelings of insecurity which trigger such actions, still it goes without saying that this 'unhealthy' habit can be detrimental to your one big asset: recognizing and developing your uniqueness.

Some people are either afraid to show who they really are, because they believe that other people are better than them. Or as a result of lack of inner consciousness, they are just not aware of their own special gifts.

First of all, there is nothing wrong with being who you are. In fact, the more you are willing to be yourself, the better is your chance of being authentic and special. Then no amount of any artistical imitation will ever make a strong indelible impact on other people or makes you feel better about yourself. It is better to be a first class 'you' than a third rate imitation of some celebrity. At least this way, you will be upholding the true spirit of individualism and helping along the course of evolution.

Secondly, regardless of how or what you may at present think of yourself, you are still special and that is what other people want to see and experience in you. Psycho-logically, people are more attracted to someone who is genuine. So don't try to be what you are not.

If you are still in doubt about what is special about you, start by asking yourself these 3 questions:

1.How do people react to me when I am with them?

2. When in a crowd, am l more interested in voicing my opinion or do I listen intently to others?

3. When decisions are made, do I accept to go along with the majority, or is upholding my values more important to me?

Each of these questions can prompt you to look deeper into yourself and recognise what you may be missing: your special abilities.

Your strength lies in your inherent abilities. For these are the gifts of the spirit, the real you.

Learn to know what your assets are and what makes you stand out from the crowd.

The best way to do this is to focus on what you know gives you passion, joy and deep satisfaction. I once had to give a friend some new perspectives about herself. She complained constantly about how people around her were getting along while she felt left behind. One day as I istened again to her lamentations, it suddenly dawned on me that she had been focusing on other peoples' lives instead of on her own.

I pointed this out to her and encouraged her to look into herself and her life. She was to find out what she could genuinely admire about herself and recognise as her inherent strength.

Well, it didn't take her long to turn the table. She decided that her life hadn't been such "a disaster" after all. In fact she came up with what made her to be such a great friend to have around. Her exceptional ability to remain calm and compose in the face of difficult situation.

Once you know what it is that makes you special, keep grooming it until it shines out in all its glory. Thus the saying "who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying" becomes your true shield and emblem.

Kunbi Korostensky N.D., Psychotherapist and Certified Life Coach is specialised in supporting people going through various life changes, such as after a divorce, bereavement and dealing effectively with teenagers. Check out her ebooklet: Top 10 holistic Questions to Embrace Change and Grow at http://www.embracingchanges.com.BooksandCDs.html