In order to find the right direction for ourselves, we have to do some soul searching. What is it I want to accomplish? Why? What kind of person do I want to become? Is it so weird to be in our thirties or forties and ask ourselves, "So, what do I want to be when I grow up?" What would make us jump out of bed excited and motivated to get the day started? Before getting into these big questions, we need to find out the roots behind our decisions. What motivates us to choose what we choose?
If you could create anything you wanted without regards to money, time, or education... what would you do? What would you create if you could wave a magic wand and it would appear? What would you have? Think on that for awhile... anything at all.... Would you create vacations and the ability to travel all over the world? Would you create an education fund for your children? Would you create your dream home? Would you create a worry free retirement? Would you create a new wardrobe? Would you create music, books, movies, art, medicine? Write down a list of things. Don't worry about how far fetched they might sound. Just make a list of all the things you'd do and create if you had unlimited means to do so.
Why would you create those things? Of all the things you would magically create, why would you want to create them? What's the root cause for you to want to create the list of things you'd create? What do you gain by creating those things? Do you want to create those things in order to be free? Secure? Independent? Understood? An entrepreneur? Loved? Creative? An entertainer? An adventurer? What is it you get to become by creating the things on your list? What kind of person would you be if you were the kind of person living out that list and creating those things?
Moving further back into the roots of what you are or wish to become, if you could be anything, what would you want to be? Don't choose job descriptions, choose traits, aspects. What are you now? That's right, "what" would you want to be, not "who" would you want to be. If you died tomorrow, what would people say about you? Were you a healer? Brave? Organized? A great parent? An intellectual? A musician? An artist? Thoughtful? Kind? A supporter of dreams? What would you want them to say about you? How would you like to be seen? Sit with these thoughts for a bit and then write down a list for yourself starting with "I want to be..."
As an example, my list narrowed down to this:
I want to be....
Loved
A healer
An entertainer
Secure
An adventurer
A goddess
Independent
An explorer
An original
Free
A supporter of dream
An inspiration
Upon reflection, I can honestly say that every goal I've ever felt passionate about rooted from this list. Without realizing it, I had made most of my life choices from this list.
By identifying your true motivations and desires, it becomes easier to find direction in life. Now we know where your goals come from. What's the root beneath your dreams? There is no right or wrong answers, just ideas at the core of you. We could probably analyze what in your past makes you want to become the things you put on your list. We could analyze how close you are to being all of the things you've listed. It's not important. What matters is that now you know what it is you're aspiring to become.
Now it may seem to you that most of the things you had originally dreamed of creating were gifts you would share with others. You were going to put the kids through school. You were going to go on more vacations with your spouse. You were going to share your music with the world. You didn't think you were being selfish. And you're right. You were not being selfish. It's just that everything we do serves us in some way. Every gift we give is every bit a gift to ourselves also. You give the gift of a college education to your children and you give yourself the gift of being a good parent in your own eyes, or the gift of being a supporter of others in your own eyes. You get the gift of seeing yourself as a good person. Give the gift of music to the world and you get to see yourself as a musician. You get to be what it is that you want to be.
By acknowledging to yourself how you want to be seen and what you want to be remembered for, you get in touch with your true purpose and what it is that drives you. Don't beat yourself up if you find that you want to be something that might sound stuck up or egotistical. It's okay to want to be liked, admired, respected. It's not like your root motivation is to be envied, or to be superior to everyone else. It's okay to want to be attractive, intelligent, prosperous. We've convinced ourselves somewhere along the way that it's somehow wrong or evil to want to be wonderful or to be successful. The truth is, most of us would give back in appreciation for our successes. Most of us would spend more time with our loved ones. Most of us would give to charity. Most of us would do more volunteer work if we really had the time and the means. Nobody ever writes down "I want to be... greedy, selfish, and spoiled." We want to be positive wonderful things so that we can share our positive wonderful gifts with each other. Give yourself permission to become whatever it is on your list that really resonates within your heart.
Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
About The Author
Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.