When you were a child, or maybe even when you were older, did you ever toss a pebble into the water and watch the ripples that emanated from the point where it broke the surface? Or watched the effect of raindrops falling on a body of water? I have done these things and have since found myself pondering on this process, and just how much it can be compared to our lives.
The pebble splashes in the water and affects the surface surrounding it. A circular ripple spreads outwards and in turn produces another and another and so on. Have you noticed also, that just how far this effect travels is dependant on the magnitude of the impact of that initial pebble? As you read this, take a moment to consider yourself as being that pebble.
You may make more of an impact on people's lives than you think. When I say "people's lives", you can include your own. The impact you make in any territory, whether it be yours or that of others around you, helps to determine what I would describe here as: circles of destiny.
You may perhaps have seen a photograph portraying the ability of flash photography to capture movement and freeze it in time. I am thinking particularly about a photography that shows something being dropped into a pool of milk. That initial impact of the object being dropped causes a "crown" to form as the milk splashes upward with a ridge having milky "jewels" suspended above it. As that "ridge" falls back to the surface, the radiating circles begin to commence their motion. This is the more dominant radiating force, but in the meantime, the milky jewels also land back upon the surface with each of those giving birth to their radiating existence. Such results commence a dance with multiple circles of destiny.
Logically, before you were conceived in the womb, you had no effect on anyone or anything upon this earth. From the moment you were conceived however, your very existence began to cause an impact not just on other people, but on life and human development too as interaction, cause, and effect, began. During such early years, you of course, had little if any control on such interactions and reactions of those to your existence. You might have protested with the odd kick or two, but that was about your lot until you were born.
As the years passed and you grew to the point where you could readily communicate with those around you, your impact on society took a more earnest stride, but let us leap forward to another time?now.
How do you feel about the impact you have on the lives of others from day to day? Do you recognize that impact? Are you happy with the impact or effect you have on others? There are those amongst us who would like to be considered as more significant and yet others who would rather not be in the limelight and just quietly live out their lives. The odd thing is, that even by quietly living out your life behind the scenes as it were, you still have an impact on those who know or who are aware of you. There is no getting away from it - we are all at the centre of our own ripple effect. How much of an effect we have though, is dependent on two factors: force and resistance.
If I were to drop a "Water Boatman" insect on the surface of a pool, it would happily scoot around on the surface and not sink once! If I jumped onto the surface of the same pool, I would do very little scooting around unless it was on the bottom of the pool! My impact on the poor Water Boatman would be pretty severe!
At the point of impact, there is always resistance - a result of surface tension. It gives way dependent on the force exerted. How much impact you have on the life of another is dependent entirely on your approach i.e. how much weight you put behind it, how much insistence; how much determination.
People do not always want help. They do not always want to feel of the impact you may provide, no matter how good or well intended it might be. The trouble is that once you have launched yourself in this way, you cannot retract it. Like it or not an impact will occur, all that you can do is attempt to lessen it. So how do you go about lessening the impact you are making on someone's life? There you are, already launched. How are you going to restrain the impact?
I recall watching a film a while ago, in which some overeager person hit a missile launch button. The missile was enroute to target when it was realized that it was a mistake! What's the more, the self-destruct button failed to initialise the onboard sequence. They had two choices left open to them - evacuate or use another missile to destroy the first that was launched manually from an aircraft.
So what are your options if your "missile" has been launched and you want to avoid the impact or at least lessen it? They are as follows:
1. Send an auto-destruct sequence - can you say or do something that will stop the "missile" in its tracks and thus prevent any impact?
2. Manually destroy the "missile" -Can you say or do anything that will cause any previous situation to be totally dissipated or deflected out of harms way?
3. Lesson the impact - What can you say or do that although will not prevent the impact, so that it will cause the least amount of damage possible?
4. Evacuate the area of impact - Can you move the target so that although they are aware and damage may be done, lives are salvaged?
Personal impact is not all bad though. Notice how the ripple of impact in fluid (and even in some examples of solid impact), does not change the matter itself but simply the form the matter takes and the direction it takes. Ripples in liquid, form circular ridges flowing outward, in line with the strength of impact. In people's lives, we often cause ripples that do not change the character themselves necessarily, but do affect their direction and strength. An important factor to understand here is that such affects may be for good or bad. We all need to offload our cares and trials from time to time, and when we do this, it makes us feel good. We feel so much lighter for doing so. Our problem or concerns may not be solved, but somehow we just feel better for doing so. It is good to have friends who can share our burdens. It is important though to remember that our friends too will have their own concerns. What's more your problems will be a concern to them simply because they are your friends! Oh dear! Does this mean that we should not really be burdening our friends with issues in our lives? No not all. What it means is that we all need buffer zones. We, if you like, make ourselves targets for points of impact for each other.
Impact upon the lives of others exists as natural fact. How we deal with the impacts when they occur is softened by the simple task of listening to each other. Being the listening ear - providing the shoulder can sometimes be all that is required. You may not be a "professional" in dealing with the problems of others, but one thing you can be - one thing that really lessens the impact of less thinking people upon people you know - you can be their friend - their true friend. Your impact then really does change people's lives. It changes them for the better. Go and be a friend, play a part in their "circles of destiny".
About the Author
Doug Harvey,
doug.harvey@lifesight.net
http://www.lifesight.net
Northampton, United Kingdom.
As a Professional Life Coach, Doug changes peoples lives by helping them discover self-worth and clearing away the fog of life that sometimes restricts their view. Doug particularly helps those who have reached a stage of uncertainty in their lives and need to take control. To download two FREE chapters from his latest ebook, "Take Control Of Your Life", click here:-> http://www.lifesight.net