Does Living In A Loveless Marriage Necessarily Mean That You Should Get A Divorce?
Being in a loveless marriage is a frustrating predicament, but it may not necessarily mean that a divorce is eminent. Solving the quandary of a loveless marriage requires self-reflection to assess the situation, courage to try to create a team effort for the best decision with your spouse, and gumption to face the reality that a divorce may be the best solution for the loveless marriage.
But, before you jump right to the easy way out and decide on divorce, you should got through the process of making sure that you have logically thought through long-term implications of ending the loveless marriage.
Being in a loveless marriage and deciding whether to get a divorce based on this one fact alone is a misuse of an opportunity. Its not like deciding whether to stay married due to an extramarital affair or other marriage problems like abuse or living in a sexless marriage, choosing the right divorce decision when it comes to a loveless marriage is a totally different situation.
The opportunity is great to grow personally that is present when you're deciding about divorce because of being in a loveless marriage. Let's take a look at some of the items that are relevant to this situation regarding a loveless marriage and how you can approach this
time in your life from a mature standpoint and come to the right choice while growing at the same time.
Loveless marriage item 1: Define love as you see it and assess whether or not your spouse agrees somewhat with you, at least in a complementary fashion.
For a loveless marriage to be assessed properly, making sure your idea or definition of love is "clear" is a solid way to make sure that you know what you've lost. And, if your spouses idea of what love is differs from yours so much that you both can't somewhat reap the
benefits of love, you may need counseling to get to the root issue of your loveless marriage.
Loveless marriage item 2: Make sure that you are in fact out of love before you go further with steps to divorce or try to work it out.
Ask yourself, "Am I really out of love or am I giving up?". Keeping love alive can take work and strong communication with yourself and spouse. List the reasons why you think you're out of love and decide if those reasons prohibit a rekindling of love, assuming you were actually in love at some point. Being in a loveless marriage doesn't necessarily mean that it has to stay that way!
Loveless marriage item 3: Decide if you were ever really in love as you define love.
Your loveless marriage could have always been loveless, you may have just been to distracted to notice. You may have received other benefits from being with your spouse in the past that you aren't getting now and that could be why you're frustrated and living in a loveless marriage.
Of course, if you were in fact in love with your spouse at one time in the past, you both might not have done what needs to be done to keep love alive. Before you do anything about your loveless marriage, make sure you understand how your idea of love may have changed over time, and really contemplate if you were really ever in love.
Loveless marriage item 4: Assessing whether or not you need to be in love to stay married and if so, can your love be re-kindled?
This item regarding a loveless marriage is a crucial point in your decision making process. Some people stay married even when they are in a loveless marriage because the benefits they get from being married psychologically outweigh the need for love. These benefits could many things and could stem from lack of self confidence, money, fear of loneliness, etc.
If you're a person who needs love to stay married, make sure that you really think about how rejuvenate the love in your loveless marriage before you decide on divorce. If you're struggling regarding a decision about your loveless marriage, it means that it is worth fighting for.
If you really do soul searching and talk with your spouse openly about the lack of zest in your marriage in the hopes of making it better, you may find that your spouse feels the same way that you do!
Being a loveless marriage can be a drain on your day to day energy if you need love to stay happily married. If your marriage is worth it to you, be mature about the situation and do all you can to rekindle the love before you do anything else. If you do, you'll grow personally as
will your spouse regardless whether or not you get a divorce.
Karl Augustine
"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce"
An eBook recommended by marriage counselors and relationship coaches to their clients.
Deciding on Divorce
Loveless Marriage
MORE RESOURCES:
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
The Legal Side of Divorce
While divorce can be an emotionally draining experience, even in the best of situations, it can also be a complicated legal matter that affects both parties equally. No matter how long your marriage has lasted or how few belongings you share together, it is also best to involve an attorney in your divorce proceedings.
Dating Tips for Divorced and Widowed Moms
Dating is tough for just about everybody, but it's even tougher for people who are divorced and widowed. Along with the fears of being "out of practice," there are often children's feelings to consider.
5 Things To Do Before You Even Think About Getting A Divorce
There are many steps to take to protect yourself in a divorce. This article will get you started.
Healing Dysfunctional Families
In a recent article entitled "Some Evidence On How We
Are Spiritually Connected" I reported on a case study that revealed how individuals who share common traumatic memories can help each other release the trauma at a distance employing a new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM). In this article I will elaborate some of the potential applications of such a result as well as its far reaching implications.
The Job of a Divorce Attorney
Marriage is a very solemn and serious chapter on any person's life. However, due to personal reasons, a couple may decide to call everything off and file a divorce.
Divorce--How the Legal System Works Against You
If there were no legal system, no lawyers and no courts, divorce would still be difficult and it would still take time to go through it. Divorce is at least a major crossroad in your life, maybe even a full-blown life crisis.
Should I Get Divorced? Or Not?
No one besides you can determine whether or not a divorce is right for you! But, there are some general questions which pretty much apply to everybody. Thinking about the following issues may help you answer this question for yourself!What specifically is making you think of divorce?Physical AbuseIf your spouse is violent to you and/or your kids, this is a safety issue.
How Women Should Protect Themselves Financially Regarding Divorce
Women who believe a divorce is a possibility or who think that their husband will be asking about getting a divorce at some point should put their emotions aside and plan "just in case" their intuition is correct that a divorce may be coming in the near future. If women who believe that the "divorce discussion" may be lurking, they should make it a point to look for solid signs that their husband will indeed ask for a divorce.
Is Your Marriage Problem Severe Enough To Warrant Getting A Divorce?
Having a marriage problem can be agonizing especially if you're trying to do all you can to make your marriage work. Depending on how your marriage was prior to thinking that you had a marriage problem, you could be in for a hurtful time if you don't take a step back and look at your marriage problem from a "helicopter" viewpoint.
Tax & Financial Impacts of Divorce: 10 Mistakes to Avoid
Divorce is something no one hopes will happen to them when they get married. Unfortunately, almost half of all marriages end in divorce.
Grieving the End of Your Marriage, as You Know it
The pain of finding out that your partner is cheating on you can be the worst pain you'll feel in your entire life. What is happening to you, you may wonder.
Spousal Emotional Abuse During Divorce--What You Can Do
Is your spouse violent, abusive, harassing? In cases of harassment or violence there are legal remedies and there are practical things you can and must do for yourself. This is not about reaching agreement--these are strategies for self-defense.
7 Ways to Rediscover Your True Passion after Divorce
Going through a divorce is a very challenging time in a person's life. It is hard to adjust to being single again, as well as living "out of the habit" of being married, especially if you have been married for many, many years.
The Impact of Divorce on Families
As a licensed mental health professional, I work with many individuals, couples, and families who are affected by divorce. I see the devastating effects that breakups can have and am dedicated to helping people develop the skills to cope with experiences like divorce.
Credit and Divorce
Mary and Bill recently divorced. Their divorce decree stated that Bill would pay the balances on their three joint credit card accounts.
Divorce and Separation - A Child's Perspective
It is always the children that suffer the most when a marriage breaks down and separation or divorce is imminent. Children of divorcing parents often witness arguments even rows and this has a strong effect on any child.
Deciding on Divorce: How to Know You are Making the Right Choice
It's a well known fact that in this day and age most marriages end up in divorce. When confronted with the possibility of "throwing a relationship away", you'll probably experience a lot of stress.
Get Over A Divorce and Prepare for Divorce Recovery!
It can be difficult to get over a divorce and cope with a divorce when you are in pain. A ton of emotions and indecisiveness consumes you.
Divorce, The Hardest Thing You Have To Do
Knowing What To Do In DivorceKnowing what to do when you are faced with a divorce is often hard to figure out. But, you can and you will get through it.
Top 5 To Dos Before Saying "I Do"
1. DO allow yourself enough time to make one of your biggest life-altering decisions.
|